Makasih ya Allah, untuk mengingatkanku kembali, tepat di saat ketika aku sudah hampir lupa seperti apa manisnya rasa bahagia itu.
But, still, I won't consider these strange matters as feelings. Insha Allah. Dia itu Maha pembolak balik hati, and He, surely, knows the best for me. I won't let myself doing the same mistake again, because those mistakes hurt really bad, took a lot of time and efforts to heal it.
A lesson learned today. Just do whatever your heart tells you, but don't forget the values you're holding on to. And the good thing is, I made some progresses. I talked with that person casually. I asked the things that I really want to know to that person, without impure intentions, Insha Allah. I even gave some complements to that person, even if that person didn't even realize it. And I tried to be independent. The most important thing is, I'm being honest with myself. This case is different from the old case, it's totally a different story, with different characters.
I won't expect anything. It may be sakali, but for real, I think it's too early to consider this matters as love. I'm just praying that one day, Allah will show me the best kind of perspective to see this matters. I was badly injured, though (maybe) no one know about it. I silently promised to myself that I would never, ever do something without giving my best efforts in it. Yeah, everything. Including in that what-so-called-feelings. I told myself, there's no way to go back to yesterday. But, if you want to, you can make a new ending today.
Now, I'm not so sure about my feelings. I started to realize that up until now, I'm actually still up for looks. I see people from how they look, not from their true nature. He was the only one that I look for personality-sake, not for the sake of good looks. But now, since things already like this, I'm telling you : the only solution that I can think right now, is preventing myself from doing the same mistake over and over again. Yup, I'm going to restrain myself, now.
Rule : It isn't love if you only see them from their looks. They might be good looking, smart, and rich. But human get old fast, their good looks will vanish easily. And we won't spend long time on this temporary place. All I need is just an Imam to guide me to Jannah. Itu pun kalo saya masih diberi kesempatan hidup ya.
P.S. : kalau aku punya anak, aku mau namain mereka Abdurrahman, Muhammad, Aisyah, Hafshah! #khayalanmasadepanyangterlalujauh
Rise & Grind!