Wednesday, August 24, 2011


AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I can't breath. It's so cute. OMG.

source : http://s-fun.com/turtle-diving-into-ocean-cute-animal-picture/

thoughts #1

Kalau banyak orang kesal tehadap saya, that's normal. Because I'm the one to blame.

Always.

Crave

I crave those things right now.






and...


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yeah, we're all need that person. The one that you could just love and love and love and love no matter what. 

Ugh. Do I sound like a broken hearted girl? Don't worry, because I'm not C:

*pic and gif aren't mine 

CAPSLOCK

OKAY, THIS IS CRAZY. ASDFGHJKLASDFGHJASDFGHJSDFGHASDFGH. IS THIS FOR REAL? LIKE FOR REAL, FOR REAL?




......................................




SPEECHLESS. 2010 WAS REALLY AWKWARD. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? WHY DIDN'T I REALIZED THESE THINGS EARLIER? AAAAAARGH

I'm really messed up.

Btw, I was having an expectation that in Smansa, I would be the geekest, the most quiet, the most awkward student that will die with 43579 cats.

My expectation failed. Sial. I got recognized by some people. I'm not as invisible as I wish I could be. I can't meet Matahari again (oke, ini curhat :p)

Well, at least, this year birthday was the most quiet birthday ever so far because it seems like no one remember my birthday :p Some people could be sad if they were in my position, the girl who was forgotten. But for me, that's so legit. That day could be perfect if I just didn't see Apirang. I dislike him now. I mean, where did his nice attitude gone? He was the one who started our conversation, yet he's the one who started to ignore me. I used to miss WE, but he never felt the same. So, I guess, because of that I stopped missing him. Oh, I mean, I stopped missing the friendship that we had in the past.


Yes. And remember, there's a difference between giving up and moving on.

I tried so hard to had some eye contacts with him, but he ignored it. I know that eye contacts isn't that worthy, but however, I thought his ignorance was a sign for me. I learned not to force things to happen. Sometimes, you just have to follow the life path and keep calm. Physically, I'm still the same. Mentally, not so sure that I'm still the old me.





P.S. : 
Giving up is when you have a chance to change things, but you think it's too difficult or not worth the trouble.
Moving on is when you realize that you can't change things or that perhaps it's better that you don't try.

(definition from yahoo answers)

Saturday, August 20, 2011

this.

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Sunday, August 07, 2011

Re-post From September 2010

"Dan hati yang selalu bisa dikuasai pemiliknya, adalah hati orang sukses."

"Man shabara zhafira. Siapa yang bersabar akan beruntung."

"Man jadda wajada. Siapa yang bersungguh sungguh, akan berhasil."

"Pasang niat kuat, berusaha keras dan berdoa khusyuk. lambat laun, apa yang kalian perjuangkan akan berhasil. inilah sunatullah-hukum tuhan."

"uthlub ilma minal mahdi ila lahdi. Tuntutlah ilmu dari buaian sampai liang lahat."

"Jangan berharap dunia yang berubah, tapi diri kitalah yang harus berubah. Ingat, Allah berfirman, Dia tidak akan merubah nasib suatu kaum sebelum kaum itu melakukan perubahan. Kalau kalian mau sesuatu dan ingin menjadi sesuatu, jangan hanya bermimpi dan berdoa, tapi berbuatlah, berubahlah. Lakukanlah saat ini. Sekarang juga!"

Orang berilmu dan beradab tidak akan diam di kampung halaman
Tinggalkan negerimu dan merantaulah ke negeri orang
Merantaulah, kau akan dapatkan pengganti dari kerabat dan kawan
Berlelah-lelahlah, manisnya hidup terasa setelah lelah berjuang.
-penggalan kata mutiara Imam Syafi'i-

Perbedaan Orang Sukses dan Orang Biasa?
ada 2 hal yang paling penting dalam mempersiapkan diri untuk sukses.

1. going extra miles
tidak menyerah dengan rata rata. kalau orang lain belajar 1 jam, dia belajar 5 jam. orang berlari 3 kilo, ia berlari 4 kilo. Selalu berusaha meningkatkan diri lebih dari orang biasa. Lebihkan usaha, waktu, upaya, tekad, dan sebagainya, maka kalian akan sukses.

2. tidak pernah mengizinkan diri sendiri dipengaruhi oleh unsur luar
jangan mau sedih, marah, takut, kecewa oleh unsur luar. Kitalah yang berkuasa atas diri kita sendiri, jangan beri kekuasaan itu pada orang lain. Contohnya, jika kita ditodong senapan, kita punya pilihan untuk takut atau tegar. kita punya lapisan paling dalam di diri kita, dan itu tidak ada hubungannya dengan pengaruh luar.

*source : negeri 5 menara*

Prinsip

Mulai sekarang, saya berprinsip, if you want something, just go for it. Jangan hanya diam dan bermimpi, tapi kejar mimpimu itu. Jangan pedulikan apa yang orang lain katakan. Buang rasa takutmu. Rasa takut itu hanya menghantui orang-orang yang tak mau membuang rasa takut itu sendiri.

Prinsip yang saya buat saat liburan. Tanggal 17 Juni, di posting lama saya. Sebelum saya kenal Alau. Saat saya masih tergila-gila sama Matahari. Sebelum ke Jogja.

I'm gonna chase my dream.

To get scholarship, to get a chance to join AFS and visit matahari in U.S.A (he didn't even know your name, please, bew -_-)

and to help the TKI in Malaysia and Saudi Arabia.

Amen, and Bismillah :)

Relate

I really can’t picture anyone at all having a crush on me. I can’t picture anyone daydreaming about me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me when they’re lay in bed before they fall asleep. I can’t picture anyone telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I hugged them, or even just because I made eye contact with them. I can’t picture someone smiling because my name lit up their phone. I just can’t.


Bahasa Translation : Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang menyukaiku. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang memimpikanku. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang memikirkanku sebelum mereka tidur. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang bercerita tentangku kepada teman-temannya. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang deg-degan karena aku memeluk mereka, atau bahkan hanya karena bertemu pandang denganku. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan seseorang tersenyum karena namaku muncul di telepon genggam mereka. Aku hanya tidak bisa membayangkannya. 

RT banget!

When every smansa's student were thinking about their grades, or their future profession, I'm sitting here, and had a thought about that lame thing.

Love. ---> tanda-tanda mau galau lagi.

Akhir-akhir ini, entah kenapa, saya berubah jadi master ilmu tenaga dalem. Hahahahahahahaha no. I mean.. I just could feel it if any girl had a crush on a boy.

Especially, when it comes to girl who had a crush on Alau.

Based on my prediction and telepaty, there are 4 girls who had a crush on Alau. Ada 4 cewek suka sama Alau mabroooow. 3 orang kelas 10, 1 orang kelas 12. Kayaknya kelas 11 ada juga yang suka. Astagfirullah, I'm dead now X( Okay, I didn't have any single feelings for him. Saya nggak mau nambah daftar panjang orang yang menanti cinta alau —sumpah kayak apaan tau— I'm not interested to be in love again. It's super tiring, ya know.

Right now, I just want to follow my life path, my life destiny. I don't want to over-think about my grades, my love life, and everything. I know that I'm not a straight A student, and have no interest in having a boyfie. But sometimes, it just hurt like hell when knowing that I'm not good enough either for smansa or for my love life.


I just wanna do everything in a good way and just hoping for Allah's blessing. I'm imperfect, I know right? I've got lots of will, like getting a scholarship to study overseas, joining AFS, work in voluntary sector or be a diplomat just for once. But then I know, willing is not enough. We must do. 

from here

Only Allah knows how my future will be. I know, that His plans are the best above everything.

sincerely,

Bewew

Thursday, August 04, 2011

I had the urge to open facebook now. Like for real, for real. Oh my gosh.


But, sadly, I just can't :/ OH MY. This thing annoyed me like crazy.


K Bye. Gonna do the 'taraweh' now.

4

4 Ramadhan.

4 Agustus.

Well, this year August 4 isn't very good, yet it wasn't that bad. I'm not hoping for some surprises in this year. And it seems like my classmates didn't know about "today big event". To be honest, sometimes, it just felt good knowing that you are just the average smansa's student. I'm just the girl next door. I feel so free. Allah, thanks for this all. And for having such a good friends like Hazrin, Irin, Ajeng, Aldel, Alya, Muti, etc. (I'd love to see how curious Agni when guessing what kind of big event that happened today. Now, you'll know, Agni :> ) Thank you Allah, for giving me such a lovely parents (they even prepared a surprise for me!).

Dan.... saya galau lagi. Lagi.  Masa pulpen standard needle point yang kembar sama Mae hilang sesaat sebelum tanggal 4 coba? Mood saya ancur banget, tadinya saya udah niat mau pundung di sekolah. Mau diam saja di kelas, nggak kemana-mana pas istirahat. Nggak mau ke mushola. Rawan.

Tapi, Allah berkehendak lain. Ibu sama Bapak tiba-tiba ngasih surprise gitu pas mau sahur. Saya yang biasanya tidur kayak kerbau, langsung bangun terduduk di kasur, surprised banget. Ada cupcake kura-kura!!! Hahahaha thank you Ibu, Bapak! :)


the surprise birthday cupcakes. taste good!



Ada sisi sialnya juga. Mood saya membaik. Mampus. Kalo udah kayak gini, saya bakalan lincah banget bangetan di sekolah. Pasti ga bakal bisa diam. Dan ternyata benar, saya ke musholla, terus ke ruang guru, lewat kelas 11 bentar deh -________- Astagfirullah. Btw, baru aja saya mau bersyukur karena kayaknya permintaan saya biar bisa invisible di sekolah terkabul, TIBA-TIBA saya liat alau. Malesss. Pokoknya problema saya dengan si alau nggak sesimpel yang saya ceritakan disini deh. Jauh lebih complicated, hanya Allah dan Hazrin yang tahu gimana ribetnya hal ini. For god's sake, I'm afraid that I'll lost all the control I've built nowadays. I'm afraid to fall in love again. Kamu tau kan rasanya jatuh cinta itu gimana? kalau buat saya sih rasanya kayak terbang entah kemana. Jadi merasa teristimewa gitu. Terus jadi punya semangat hidup, sama semangat buat sekolah. Dan, tentu saja, kita bakal geer tiap liat kecengan kita, terus kita merasa bahwa si kecengan juga suka sama kita, pokoknya kacau sekali deh.

Tapi selama ini, yang terjadi sama saya? Unrequited love. Nggak berbalas semua cintanya hahaha. Teenage love is really terrible. I don't want to involve with it anymore. Tapi, kenyataan ternyata nggak semudah itu. Matilah kau, bew.

Omong-omong tadi ada teman sekelas saya yang mau ikut dkm, tapi dia agak nervous juga. Kata dia, "ih berarti kalo ikut DKM nggak boleh pacaran dong?" mukanya melas gitu. hahaha si cewek yang bilang itu tuh kesannya nggak macem-macem, jujur saya agak shock. Dia mau pacaran? haha saya aja yang liar macem mana ini aja nggak pernah beneran terpikir buat pacaran. Terus saya bilang, "Aduh aku mah males pacaran. Denger deh, bewew pacaran. kedengerannya alay kan?"

Dia pun bilang kata "Bewew pacaran" itu nggak alay.

Sumpah, I'd rather have a new turtle than having a boyfriend :p Siapa yang mau ngadoin aku kura-kura? *ngarep

Sebenernya masalah saya sepele banget. Banyak yang lebih rumit dari ini, dan Ayah Agung baru saja berpulang ke Rahmatullah, Inalillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Rajiuun. Semoga arwah Beliau diterima di sisi Allah ya, amin. Agung, tabah ya! (saya tahu, yang kamu rasakan pasti nggak akan bisa saya rasakan sekarang. Tapi mudah-mudahan Allah memberikan kekuatan bagi Agung sekeluarga.)

p.s. : (Kalau) ada yang ngucapin selamat ulang tahun di fb, makasih ya hehe (maaf saya kayaknya nggak akan kuat buka fb. Saya masih GTT--galau tingkat tinggi--mikirin alau.) Mungkin, saya nggak akan buka fb selama-lamanya.

Well, it seems that forever is the way too long, isn't it?

Bewew

Monday, August 01, 2011

Birdy



Birdy cover of Bon Iver's song "Skinny Love" is so awesome. The music video concept, her voice, the piano, the way she looks... this is just the way too perfect.

At first, I thought Birdy is 18 or something. But, when I searched her on wikipedia, I found out that she was born at May 15 1996. Whaaaaat? She's in the same age with me and yet so talented! (and, her birthday is just a day and 2 years apart from matahari. why are you so lucky?)

I love her hair, her dress, i love everything on the video. The music video is classic and vintage. And ya, this song also used in an episode of The Vampire Diaries.

Just take several minutes to listen to it, it's a really nice song. Talking about nice songs, I've got a list of my favourite nice yet easy to listen songs. The songs got a beautiful videos too. (most of them could be found at the blog's playlist)

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg
Make You Feel My Love by Adele
Blue Sky Collapse by Adhitia Sofyan
My Memory by Ryu
Kiss The Rain by Yiruma
One Last Cry by Brian McKnight
Officially Missing You - Tamia
Into You - Adhitia Sofyan

Hope ya'll had a great day, and happy fasting too

Songs to Learn @ piano

I'll learn those songs at piano because they're so good and I love them sooo much!


100 years by Five For Fighting

Make You Feel My Love - Adele

One Last Cry - Brian Mcknight

My Memory by Ryu

Only Hope by Switchfoot (but the piano version sang by Mandy Moore)

and of course, Yiruma's songs. His piano sonata is sooo beautiful and I love most of his songs like On the Way, Kiss the Rain, May Be, River Flows in You, Love Me, If I Could See You Again (it keep reminding me of Matahari!!!!) and When the Love Falls. But Yiruma's a true pianist, so I guess I'll be kinda troubled when reading the music sheets.

Pray for me, okay? hehe :B