discovered

finally he discovered it. he knows my feelings for him. actually it's not fully right, but i'm pretty sure that he knows it. oh my god.

ngerti kan? seseorang bernama atas, kayaknya udah tau, bahwa bewew ada "suatu" feelings sama dia. mati. kayaknya dunia ini redup banget. saya ga mau dia tau suatu apapun. hello, i'm only admired him, not more, not less.

darimana dia tahu? he knows it because my friend is out of spoken. dia keceplosan bilang saya cocok sama dia. and she said his REAL name. of course he heard it, because he wasn't far from us.

ya allah, ya rabbi, what's my fault? why must he, why must ATAS that discovered that I've been crushing in him? kenapa ga apirang aja? kenapa ga NC? eh gajadi deh. kalo NC tau, itu lebih parah lagi. gila segila gilanya.

karena hal itu, saya merencanakan cabut dari bogor. let's go to Insan Cendekia!!! avoid smansa! I'm ashamed. malu banget. kalo dia beneran denger gimana? okay, in that time, when my friend said that "danger" things, i'm so shocked, because she say it out loud, everyone could hear her words. die, die. but i'm pretend to be so relaxed, pretend that nothing's happened. i just asked her, where did her get that weird conclusion. then she said, that we look much compatible to be together and just that.

okay, once more, maybe it's just my feelings that he had already know about this, but the problem is, i thought his friends also hear my friend's words. pasrah deh sama apa yang akan terjadi. hhh, berat banget rasanya. mampus banget ini. astagfirullah. rasanya tuh kayak disuruh bawa batu 10 kilo. berat banget ini hati, i'm so panic. how if he really knows it? how if he will avoiding me? how if he...

ah ya allah, tolong saya :'( bener bener sedih dan pengen nangis, but crying is useless and won't change a things. nangis itu nggak ada gunanya dan ga akan merubah apa pun. so, just think positive and stay cool, until I really can't handle it anymore.

Laa yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus aha
Allah tidak akan memberi cobaan pada manusia kecuali mereka mampu menanggungnya.

try to be a strong girl.

bhewew.bezta